I wish you were in bed with me

I sometimes need a pillow

between my legs and two fingers

in my mouth.

I’m not a little girl. I’m a good girl

who wants to know where her next vice is coming from.

And your thumb looks ripe enough.

How bout I ask nicely

the sky if it can’t

for one night be…

"What we’ve called love isn’t love. It’s anxiety, insecurity, uncertainty, which is thrilling but exhausting and ultimately short lived."

"Will it be a fast death? Will it be painfully slow? Do I deserve that? Why can’t I just die peacefully.. let someone who is holding onto life have it."

"I’ve spent too many nights thinking of my last hour… I spent too many days thinking of ways to let it all go."

"I can’t sit here and pretend that I’m a girl with all these standards and boundaries… I aspire to be that girl one day but right now underneath the natural care free hair, the awkward posture, the african statement earrings, and my soft smile, stands a girl with low self esteem."

"Am I your girlfriend? I ask… already knowing the answer.. he hesitantly says yes and changes his mind later… doesn’t want the commitment. It’s okay though, I guess I just needed that title to justify what I had just done."

"I find myself again in an empty stairwell…with someone I’d never stand a chance with but in that moment, everything made sense.."

I guess thats why I gave everything…putting months and years work into one short day